Loss, Anticipation, Direction, and The Pursuer of my Heart

I have a lot on my mind but not really sure how any of it could be put to words, especially for a public blog. Loss is a word I have on my mind. The saying is that the good Lord gives and He takes away. The older I grow, the more I realize that's true. Sitting in a loss is hard and sometimes my pride isn't ready to chalk it up to God's bigger plan. I think that's how I learn about God, though. I've seen Him take things away and then sit with me in that, even if my attitude towards Him isn't always pleasant. I can't say I would do that. I am learning that I hang onto blessings like I deserve them and have trouble letting go once they disappear. Anticipation is another word on my mind. Wondering what's ahead. Wondering how things will unfold in every situation. I have my own ideas but in the back of my mind I know that things rarely work out like I plan, sometimes for the good, and sometimes for the worse. Isn't that how life goes? Direction is also a word there. Finding direction in something you feel God leading you to is an incredible feeling. Having that feeling that God is calling me to a kinesiology major and then learning that my class is a blast is amazing. Seeing Him answer even my little worries like "what if I don't like the class?" has shown me a lot. My God cares about more than just the big things in my life. The way He teaches me lessons day in and day out through the big and the not so big baffles me. I look forward to a lifelong lesson with the almighty teacher and pursuer of my of my heart. He knows me so much better than I'll ever know myself.