Saturday, October 9, 2010

Just Plain Tired...

How does one balance living life to the fullest and doing absolutely everything with resting in each day and slowing down to not miss things in life? I find that hard. I feel like I have so much to do each day but at the same time I long to just slow down and be. I have one life to live. I have no idea how long that life will be. Right now it is just about right at 20 years long. I hope it is long, but more than that, I hope it is full. I'd rather have 20 full years, then 80 empty years. Right now I feel so busy and life feels so hectic. At the same time, I don't want anything cut out. I'm in school, because not only do I love it, but I want the education. I want to be able to teach or do whatever God has for me after I graduate. I'm working with my church's youth group because I love those students. I love getting to mentor them and just walk along side them everyday. I am working because I have to. I enjoy my job and have learned a ton from it, but that is something I must do whether I enjoy it or not. All the things that occupy my time are there for a reason. So why are there times that I just wish life could slow down so I can breathe? I feel like school is going to run me over if I slow down for a minute. I study an average of 15 hours a week (depending on the week), work about 25-28 hours a week, go to class 17 hours a week, and volunteer with the youth for about 6 hours a week. The average adds up to 60 plus hours a week. I just get stuck in this delima of having and wanting to do all those things but desiring more free time. I'm feeling stuck at the moment....and very very tired.

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