3 Years Ago Today

As I was driving to church this morning my sister reminded me that 3 years ago today was the day I totaled my car and sent her to the hospital. I was rethinking about it all during church today. That was probably the scariest thing I've ever done.I was in a '98 CRV that is very similar to the one we have now. I will never forget that day. It was the day we played St. Anthony's JV softball team before youth group. My coach got thrown out of the game that day:) It was hilarious and a fun game. I remember being giddy and joking around with my friends after the game. My mom was in her car and so my younger sister and I went in my car to meet them for dinner. We left the park and went up 281. I want to make a note here. If those bridges that link 281 and 410 had been there, like they are now, none of this would have happened....just a thought that needed to be said. There were two exit lanes and I was trying to avoid the long line in the right lane so I stayed in the outside lane. I was going along listening to music and I thought I noticed someone behind me that I knew. I think I paid a little too much attention to that, because the next thing I knew, the car in front of me was either totally stopped or slowing very rapidly. I just remember sheer panic and slamming on my break and then nothing. I didn't feel a thing but woke up in a daze wondering where I was and if I was dreaming. I remember my sunglasses no longer being on my face, my rear view mirror was gone, my lap was covered in blue cloth(airbag), my arms felt like they were on fire(air bag burns), and I was trying to figure out what happened. When I came out of the daze, panic flooded in, I couldn't breathe and my sister was crying hysterically. This white dust was pouring into the car from the A/C and I felt like it was filling my lungs. The combination of the dust and having the wind knocked out of me felt like an eternity before I could breathe right again. I was trying to get air to my sister because she was seriously panicking. I looked over and she had caught the airbag in the face and her face was swollen shut already. Her back got hurt in the accident and she was in a ton of pain. I just remember this overwhelming fear in me of what I had just done. I'm sitting in the middle of rush hour traffic, I can't breathe, I just broke my sister's neck(or so I thought), I am blocking two lanes of traffic, and I can't find my phone(smart me left it in my softball bag and I couldn't find it). I rolled down my window and motioned to the construction worker for a phone. The one time I've been thankful for construction in SA. He gave it to me and I dialed my mom's number. She answered and because I couldn't breathe my words had no voice behind them. I was terrified she was going to hang out because she didn't recognize the number and she couldn't hear anyone over the phone. I tried again and got a very quiet, desperate, "Mom I wrecked my car" out. I had never felt that type of desperation before. I was terrified she would hang up. After I told her where we were I hung up and sat there. I didn't know what to do. Holly was trying to move around because she was in so much pain but I told her she had to sit still because she didn't know what kind of back injury she had. I found a water bottle and gave her some, just trying to clear her throat from the dust. Looking back, one of the weirdest things to me was who my first call was to. I felt like I needed to call someone. I called one of the girl's on my team that I am not really even friends with. I was in the middle of sort of switching friends groups and I didn't know who to call so I just called her, even though we weren't even that close. I just started sobbing. My sister, through her sobs, said "It wasn't your fault." I was surprised at her response since I just hurt her basically. An officer pulled up after a few minutes on his motorcycle and told me I had to move my car. I didn't know I could. We finally got it off the highway and he took my license and laughed. He said "So I see you just got your license. My daughter wrecked her car right after she got her's too." There was a frantic phone call with my mom because she couldn't figure out where I was. Finally she got there and then FINALLY the emergency crews got there to help my sister. They took her away on the stretcher and she was in the hospital til midnight. Thankfully she had only a scratched cornea and back spasms. I will probably never forget every little detail, only because it was pretty crazy and scary. I woke up the next morning and I have never felt so sore in my life. I felt like I got hit by a truck. I got in my mom's car and drove to work that next morning and life went on. Some things changed, including my thoughts about driving and life. It is a precious thing that can be ripped away in one split second. Thankfully mine and my sister's wasn't. Boy am I glad for that. The main things I pulled from that day were that I'd never been that scared and panicked in my life. I had never felt such desperation before. All that and that I realized I didn't have that many real friends. That has changed thankfully. I am grateful for my sister's protection and for the lessons learned. Anyway...that is what is on my mind today. My God is good and has brought me through so much. I am thankful for His protection today.