Spending Money and Layers of an Onion

I'm sitting at Panera eating a bowl of mac and cheese....because, let's be honest, they have the best mac and cheese in town. I hadn't intended to be here. I was hoping to go home for lunch and not spend money but I realized I was already almost to the place I have to be at in an hour or so and didn't want to waste gas going home. Once I paid for my order, I wished I had gone home. I'm just tired of spending money. I get so tired of paying for gas and food all the time. I am very much on the go all the time. I only go to school and work 4 days a week but the rest of the time I have a million other things going on. I try to pack lunch for school but I end up staying so long that I end up wanting to eat again and end up buying food. This rant has no purpose except to say that I get really tired of working my butt off every weekend only to spend that money on gas and food. I wish we didn't have to eat. That would be nice. This is my attempt at feeling like I can blog about everyday things. I haven't done that with my blog but would like to change that.

Now to add something a little more worth while to this post. I've been pondering the idea of friendships. I was discussing with a friend that I have layers of friendships. I have a few (less then 5) close friends that I tell everything to. I have a group slightly outside of that that I will go out to lunch with or spend time with and are pretty close friends. I have my closer acquaintances that I enjoy catching up with, and then I have the acquaintances that I would rather just avoid honestly. I'm realizing that people make me uncomfortable. I recently realized I am an ambivert. That is a mixture between an extrovert and an introvert. It means I enjoy people and like having close friends, but also really cherish time alone and can't take a ton of people for too long. Anyway, my friend and I were talking and she was saying how she just tells most people everything about life and those layers have very blurry lines and I was surprised as mine have distinct black lines with very little crossing over. I trust my close friends, enjoy my not as close friends, don't mind catching up with my closer acquaintances, and would rather avoid everyone else. This person remarked how I am like layers of an onion because people have to peel them back but only some get down to the bottom. I don't know why but when I see people I don't know as well, I try to just avoid them. I have that feeling of like I'd rather do anything in the world but have to have the awkward "how are you?" conversation with that person. They know me well enough to say hi apparently. Some people have crossed lines over to better friends and I'm so thankful for that. I've had friends come and go but I'm learning God brings people into our lives for seasons and always with a purpose....not sure what all of that is for but it is just on my mind.