Waiting and Praying

What do you do with a yearning, new or old, that you fear won't come true? If you had asked me last school year what I wanted to do with my life, where I wanted to go to school, or what area of work I'd even consider, I would have shrugged my shoulders and said that I wasn't sure. I went into the summer with a lost feeling like I wasn't sure what I was doing with my life. I knew that I was going to San Antonio College but that was only to buy me time until I figured out my real plan. I signed up for some basics classes and kept going with my summer. God pushed me in a direction I swore I'd never go. He pushed me to work with kids. I signed up for the middle school mission trip as a leader. I figured that I would go on the trip but that was it. Well, He pushed me to go on the retreat before the trip to get to know the students. I did and enjoyed it more than I thought I would. The mission trip ripped apart my idea of leadership, the kids, and my perception of things I enjoyed. I saw how much I enjoyed being around the kids, offering advice when I could, and learning from them the rest of the time. I found myself wanting to impact the kids, wanting to show them a God that I didn't discover til highschool. The trip ended and I knew I couldn't be done with the ministry. I had to help more. I had to spend more time with the kids. I went to all the events for them this summer and started getting to know the girls. I was able to take a few girls to dinner over the summer and get to know them more one on one. Towards the end of the summer I knew that God was calling me to be a small group leader for the 8th grade girls. We start that in three weeks. I cannot wait. Over the last week God's been opening up my mind to the idea of teaching as a career. That is a job I've always said would be torture because you end up with kids that don't want to be there and make it hell for their teacher. After this summer I know that I want to work with kids and I can't think of a better place to have influence in kids lives then in the one place they have to be for 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. That idea started growing me but the delima is that I don't really have one subject I could major in to teach. I think I would want to do highschool and you have to major in a subject instead of general education for highschool. I found out that you can get an all level teacher certified exercise and sports science degree. That itself made my day. I had originally thought about that degree but it went out the window with softball for some reason. Long story short, I feel like God is calling me in that direction. Money being the main thing to stop that. I would want to go to a major university for at least two years to get my batchelors. Those universities cost a lot of money clearly. I know that God will provide it however He chooses if that's where He wants me. My fear is that I will go headlong after this goal and then realize way down the road that it's not where God wants me. Hence the yearning that may not come true. God is bigger than my fears thankfully.....He is all powerful and therefore can take me through whatever school He wants me in. That blows my mind. Now the waiting and praying starts....waiting for His answer and praying for His guidance.